How to Soothe Yourself: 6 Gentle Ways To Return To Inner Calm

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The holiday season can stir up a complicated mix of emotions.

For some, it brings warmth, connection, and moments of joy.

For others, it also carries a quiet pressure — the rush to finish everything, the wish to make things just right, the swirl of memories from past years, the silent ache of what has changed or been lost, and the anxiety of what is yet to come.

I have noticed in myself that this time of year creates a strange blend of excitement, anxiety and exhaustion. There is so much beauty in it… but also an uncomfortable tightening inside, a sense of urgency, and a feeling of being pulled in so many directions at once. Even with the apparent holiday sheer, the nervous system can end up overwhelmed and in overdrive.

And maybe you feel some of that too.

As we move into the most intense part of the season, it feels like the right moment to pause — just enough to breathe, to soften, to remember that we are also human beneath all the expectations.

Below are six gentle, accessible ways to calm your body and mind, drawn from both research and real life. Simple practices that help us come back home to ourselves when everything around us feels loud, fast, or emotionally charged.

Let’s explore them together, slowly, one step at a time.

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1. Soften Your Space With Calming Sound

There is something almost magical about the way sound can settle the body. Music reaches us before words do — it softens tension, changes our breathing, and reminds the nervous system that it is safe to let go.

When stress rises, rather than trying to “push through” the discomfort, try turning to soothing sound.

A few options that work beautifully:

• gentle ambient music

• soft piano

• nature sounds (rain, ocean, forest)

• sound baths with crystal bowls (one of my favorites — plenty available on YouTube)

• frequency-based tracks (like 432hz or 528hz) (also a favorite)

Whether you listen while making tea, driving, or painting, the right soundscape can shift your inner state within minutes.

A calmer inner rhythm naturally follows.

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2. Breathe Your Body Back Into Inner Calm

Before the mind settles, the body must settle first. Slow breathing is one of the simplest, most reliable ways to quiet the stress response and bring yourself back into your center.

One of the easiest practices to remember is box breathing:

Inhale for 4

Hold for 4

Exhale for 4

Rest for 4

Repeat this a few times.

You will feel your mind follow the breath, and you will notice your shoulder drop — loosening, softening, returning to the present moment. And because we are calming the body through the breath, this is not “trying to relax.” It is letting the nervous system take the lead.

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3. Ground, Connect, and (If You Can) Hug

Sometimes the stress of the season pulls us out of our bodies — into our heads, into the future, into expectations. Grounding gently brings us back.

A few grounding practices you can try:

• place your feet firmly on the floor (barefoot if possible)

• touch a natural texture (a stone, wood, fabric)

• place one hand on your heart or belly

• name five things you can see, hear, or feel

If grounding alone isn’t enough, connection helps too. A simple hug — given or received — can change your entire mood and energy.

Hugs release oxytocin, a hormone that:

• lowers cortisol

• boosts mood

• strengthens feelings of connection

• eases anxiety

• even helps regulate blood pressure

And if no one is around and you really need a hug, gently wrapping your own arms around yourself (like a soft self-embrace) can offer surprising comfort.

Personally, I hug myself daily after centering and grounding. More when needed.

Sometimes what calms us most is knowing we are not alone — not in our stress, not in our experience, not in our humanity.

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4. Return to What Feels Good and Comforting

One of the kindest things we can do during stressful seasons is to reconnect with the simple activities that make us feel more grounded, more ourselves.

These don’t need to be big or elaborate.

Often, it is the soft, ordinary things that bring us back into balance:

• a quiet walk

• reading a few pages of a book

• lighting a candle

• journaling a little

• taking a long bath

• sitting with a pet

• tending to plants

• creating something with your hands

And if creativity speaks to you, this is where intuitive painting can be a gentle support.

Not as a task or a project — but as a moment of presence. A color you are drawn to, a slow brushstroke, a few minutes of expression without needing a result.

Pleasant activities remind the nervous system:

I am safe here.

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5. Notice The Moments That Trigger Stress Before It Takes Over

Often what makes stress feel overwhelming is not the emotion itself — it is the confusion around where it came from.

Awareness brings clarity.

Try observing the small patterns that tend to knock you off balance:

• being rushed or tired

• certain conversations

• overstimulation

• too many expectations at once

• skipping meals or rest

• ending the year with a long internal to-do list

Here, a touch of mindfulness goes a long way.

Being able to pause and notice “Ah, this is what is happening right now” dissolves some of the intensity.

It is not about fixing everything — just gently recognizing the moment you are in.

Awareness turns emotional waves into something navigable.

You meet your inner world with more ease.

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6. Notice the Thoughts That Make Stress Louder

Sometimes it is not the situation that overwhelms us — it’s the inner dialogue that grows inside it.

Thoughts like:

• “I should be handling this better.”

• “What if I disappoint someone?”

• “I'm falling behind.”

• “There's too much to do.”

• "I'll never be done."

  
  

When you can notice these thought patterns (rumination, catastrophizing, the inner critic), they lose some of their grip. Awareness gently breaks the loop.

Try asking yourself:

• Is this thought true?

• Is it kind?

• Is it helping me right now?

  
  

You do not have to argue with the thought — just recognize it.

That simple acknowledgment can soften the emotional charge and bring you back into the present moment.

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Closing Reflection

As this year nears its end, remember that calm is not a destination you must reach — it is a space you can return to, again and again. Even small moments of care create openings: a deep breath, a song that softens something inside, a grounding and comforting touch, a pause to notice your own heart. These are the moments that carry us through the noise toward a steadier, kinder inner rhythm.

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”
 — Etty Hillesum

If you feel called to explore calm, presence, and creativity more deeply, you are warmly welcome to join an upcoming Integrative Soul Painting Workshop — a quiet space, held with intention — to help you reconnect, release, and remember who you are beneath the stress of daily life.

Upcoming Online Session: December 14, 2025